Workplace conflicts often feel like arm-wrestling matches—tug-of-wars over priorities, resources, or direction. They’re frustrating, inefficient, and they drain team performance. These moments are often chalked up to “misalignment”. But what if we’re not misaligned at all—just focused on the wrong level?
That’s where the Ladder of Alignment can help with how to handle conflict at work.
What Is the Ladder of Alignment?
The Ladder of Alignment is a tool we utilize and teach at Echelon Front to help teams and organizations find alignment. It ties together high-level principles—vision, mission, values at the top—with strategy, priorities, goals, and ultimately, the daily tactics, metrics, and KPIs that support them at the bottom.
Conflict often lives in the details. Alignment lives higher on the ladder.
Disagreements tend to happen around the execution of the items in the bottom half of the ladder: goals, priorities, KPI’s or daily tactics. When that happens, it’s natural to think we’re no longer aligned. The truth, however, is that we often are aligned, but we’re stuck at the wrong level of the ladder.
To resolve conflict, we don’t need to fight harder. We need to climb higher.
So, how do you handle conflict at work when tensions run high over goals or tasks?
You pause, zoom out, and find common ground at a higher level on the ladder. Don’t get caught up in the disagreement, but instead, look for ways to find agreement. This simple shift in thinking is the first step towards answering the question leaders repeatedly ask: how do I handle conflict at work, when clarity feels lost and collaboration breaks down?
But the Ladder of Alignment isn’t just a tool for deconflicting and finding alignment at work. Let’s look at an example almost every married couple can relate to.
Dinner Date Example
Imagine you and your spouse or significant other are driving to dinner. You reach an intersection: you say turn left, they say right. Conflict brews. It seems like misalignment.
But look higher up the ladder. Ask yourself: What are we really trying to accomplish?
You both want to get to the restaurant for dinner, and in fact, turning either direction will get you there. There’s no misalignment; you just had different views on the next tactical step. And since you now know you’re aligned on the objective, you can let go of the conflict and go with their plan, knowing it will get you where you both want to be. Looking higher up the ladder allows you to identify where the alignment is and focus on that together.
But suppose it’s not just the direction. Let’s say you want to go to different restaurants. Are you misaligned?
Maybe not. Climb higher. Why are you going out to eat? Maybe it’s a date night. Perhaps the fridge is empty. Either way, the shared goal is clear: you both want to eat together. You weren’t misaligned. You were just looking at the wrong level of the ladder again. With that clarity, it’s easier to let go of the small disagreement and support their plan.
The same principle applies at work. If you want to know how to handle conflict at work, you must learn to assess whether the disagreement is tactical, strategic, or misaligned in values—and climb accordingly.
Business Example
At ApexTech, two executives—Sarah, the CMO, and Jordan, the Head of Product—clash in meetings. I met these two while on-site with their team, working through their leadership challenges. Sarah was pushing for aggressive marketing spending, while Jordan argued for ramping up product development. It felt like misalignment, but I quickly recognized there was a valuable tool I could teach them. And when they climbed the ladder, a different picture emerged.
At the goal level, they both want to grow revenue and increase market share. Go higher. At the strategic level, they both want to position the company for long-term success. At the mission level, they both want to serve the customer and create value.
The tactical disagreement was real, but it wasn’t unresolvable. Looking up the ladder revealed the shared vision, mission, and strategy. They realized they were not in competition with each other but rather allies trying to accomplish a common goal. By focusing on accomplishing the shared components, the interaction shifted from conflict to collaboration
Understanding how to handle conflict at work starts with recognizing that many disagreements are surface-level. When leaders shift their view to a higher perspective, they can find unity, rather than opposition.
Climbing the Ladder Requires Humility
If leaders learn how to handle conflict at work, they become problem-solvers in their organizations. But to find a resolution, they must embody the core leadership attributes.
It requires:
- Detaching from our emotions and egos
- Opening our minds to other perspectives
- Letting go of the need to be right
- Not needing things to go our way
- Prioritizing the team and our teammates over ourselves
When we dig in and cling to our way of doing things, we stay stuck at the bottom of the ladder. This is where friction lives and thrives. But when we keep our ego in check, when we prioritize the mission, the team, and our teammates, we can rise above the noise.
The goal of handling conflict at work is not to win the battle with our teammate but to achieve alignment. Instead of asking, “How do I win this argument?” focus on, “Where are we already aligned?” When you do, you’ll better understand how to handle conflict at work.
Final Thought
Whether in business, relationships, or life, seeking alignment matters more than seeking victory. If you’re asking, how do I handle conflict at work like a true leader? The answer is simple: you climb. Alignment isn’t built by shouting louder but by climbing higher to find agreement. The next time conflict surfaces, don’t dig in. Look up and climb the Ladder of Alignment. You might be more aligned than you think.
