Being a parent is the most important leadership role I’ll ever hold. I’ve led Marines, coached teams, and advised organizations, but nothing tests your consistency, patience, and influence like leading your family. At home, there are no breaks, no rank, and no hiding from your gaps. You lead with who you are.
Here are a few leadership traits that I’ve found not only impact professional teams but also shape strong families and raise capable, confident kids. I use each of the traits everyday as I raise my 7, 6, 5, and 3-year-old with my wife.
1. Consistency
Kids thrive on structure. Just like in any team, inconsistency leads to confusion, frustration, and pushback. Your words, rules, and consequences have to mean something—every time. When my kids know what to expect from me, they respond with trust, not resistance.
2. Presence
You can’t lead if you’re not engaged. That doesn’t just mean being in the room—it means putting the phone down, listening to their stories, and meeting them at their level. I’ve found that 10 minutes of focused, intentional time beats hours of distracted presence every single time.
3. Humility
One of the hardest but most powerful things I’ve done as a parent is admit when I’m wrong. Whether it’s overreacting, losing patience, or missing the mark, owning my mistakes shows my kids that leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real and getting better.
4. Clear Communication
Just like a team needs a clear mission, so do kids. They need to understand why things matter. I’ve learned to explain, not just command. When they understand the “why” behind our values, rules, and expectations, their behavior aligns naturally, not out of fear, but understanding.
5. Leading by Example
Your actions will always teach louder than your words. If I want my kids to be respectful, I have to model it. If I want them to be honest, I have to own my truth. If I want them to be disciplined, I have to live it—every day. Leadership starts with me.
Final Thoughts
Parenting and leadership aren’t separate—they’re deeply connected. The same traits that build elite teams also build strong, grounded families. It doesn’t mean we get it right all the time—I sure don’t. But if we stay consistent, present, humble, and intentional, we give our kids what every great team needs: a leader worth following.
