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To gain respect from others, we have to earn it. Through performance, hard work, and demonstrated success, respect is earned from those around us.
How Do You Get Respect?
We want others to respect us. Whether at work, at home, or in our community, we want others to recognize our experience, perspective, and contributions. But how do you get others to respect you? It isn’t by demanding their respect.
Respect is Earned
To gain respect from others, we have to earn it. Through performance, hard work, and demonstrated success, respect is earned from those around us.
Give Respect to Others
Instead of demanding that others respect our experience and perspective, the best way to gain respect is by showing respect to others. When you show respect for the opinions, experiences, perspectives, and contributions of others, they, in turn, will show you respect.
Real-World example:
“They just need to shut up and listen to me,” the supervisor said. “This team is inexperienced. They don’t even know what they don’t know. I’ve been in this line of work since they were in grade school.”
“You probably have a lot of lessons learned,” I said. “When Jocko and I started working together in Task Unit Bruiser, he had a ton of experience in the SEAL Teams. I had very little. But every time I approached him with an idea, instead of shutting me down, he would say, ‘Talk me through how that would work.’”
“If my idea made sense, he’d say, ‘Let’s give it a shot.’ If it didn’t make sense, he would ask questions and help me understand how the idea might be problematic, and another way might be better. But he was always willing to listen to me, which built our relationship. As a result, I listened to him.”
“If you want your people to listen to you,” I concluded, “you need to listen to them. That’s what good leadership looks like.”
For Action:
This week, make it a top priority to show respect to others. Recognize their contributions, experience, and perspective. Thank them for what they do. Seek their opinion on the best way to solve problems, create efficiencies, or be more effective at accomplishing your mission. EXECUTE.
